2021 has been here for less than 10 months, long enough for me to get the lots of money I said I saw coming when I wrote my last post back in January.
Now playing: Mini me by Fonye.
It really is crazy how, one moment, you are all jolly and motivated to do ‘things’ then a random thought if it not coming off as you imagined wounds the jolly spirit you had 30 seconds ago ( I would have said killed but at least, you still have a 10% will to do all what you have mapped out). I’m doing this blog post to let you know that you are not alone and we can overcome these issues. How? With discipline.
I have over the past months struggled with everything you can think of, good or bad. I turned 19, went through school stress(never been this stressed and I do not know how to feel knowing it doesn’t get easier), lost loved ones, and having to force myself to go out as this is a big deal for me since I dread going out more than you can ever imagine. I have had it in mind to run back here for a while now but each time I try to, the feeling that no one cares, no one is concerned, and no one would read it creeps into my soul; even with the fact that I have a lot of people asking when I’m going to pick up the pen to write again.
I am only doing this because it makes me feel better, as this is something I wouldn’t have done in the past. After all, I care too much about what others feel than I do for myself, but after certain experiences, I have come to conclude that doing things that makes us feel good feeds our soul and makes things better in ways unimaginable.
I have always dreaded going out because going out means I have to deal with the hot sun which gets me irritated and frustrated and most times I am too lazy to get into it anyways. Even with all these, the thoughts of being out on the tiles, letting my hair down for a night, and blowing off steam never really left my head so why not just do it? So I indulged myself, went to a couple of places, tried new things and I loved the experience even though I’d return home extremely spent and I’d need days to get my energy level back. Looking on the brighter side, I didn’t get to spend the whole of my day stuck at home, sulking and listening to songs all through. Recently, I’m going out more frequently, often solo outings and I’d be sure to blog about each outing, each location, and the experience that comes with it.
Until then, force yourself to do things that you know you’re comfortable with and suit your personality.
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